buh-bye toronto.

"I’m not naïve to the fact that I’m not a singer or an actress or anything like that. I’ve never claimed to be anything that I’m not. I think [reality] is still a new form of entertainment that was kind of an unexpected thing. It reminds me of rap music. When rap music first came out, people were like, We don’t understand this, what is this, it’s just a fad. But rap music is definitely here to stay, and I think reality shows have proven they are as well. But when something is newer, people don’t really understand it."
                                                                                                                         - Kim Kardashian



How To Be Perfect.

Get some sleep.

Eat an orange every morning.

Be friendly. It will help make you happy.

Hope for everything. Expect nothing.

Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room
before you save the world. Then save the world.
Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.

Don't stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don't
forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm's length
and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass
ball collection.

Wear comfortable shoes.

Do not spend too much time with large groups of people.

Plan your day so you never have to rush.

Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if
you have paid them, even if they do favors you don't want.

After dinner, wash the dishes.

Calm down.

Don't be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.

Don't think that progress exists. It doesn't.

Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don't do
anything to make it impossible.

Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not
possible, go to another one.

If you feel tired, rest.

Don't be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel
even older. Which is depressing.

Do one thing at a time.

If you burn your finger, put ice on it immediately. If you bang
your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for 20
minutes. you will be surprised by the curative powers of ice and

Do not inhale smoke.

Take a deep breath.

Do not smart off to a policeman.

Be good.

Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.

Do not go crazy a lot. It's a waste of time.

Drink plenty of water. When asked what you would like to
drink, say, "Water, please."

Take out the trash.

Love life.

Use exact change.

When there's shooting in the street, don't go near the window.
Excerpts from "How to be Perfect" by Ron Padgett, from How to be Perfect. © Coffee House Press, 2007. 



As always. It's been quite a busy summer for the both of us! Tiring, stressful, you name it. But it's also been a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to Jesse and I also having some time away together at the end of August! I need me some Jesse time!
Mr. Baby Gabe is getting big now. He's walking, talking a little and every time I see him am always blown away about what a little intelligent trouble-maker he is! Jesse and I could squeeze him 'till he pops. BABY GABE!
My gal-pal Sherrie is one of those girls who always looks like a million bucks whenever you see her; great taste in everything, especially her jewelry. A few weeks ago we were watching our men work at The Orbit Room where I was, as usual, grabbing and examining her necklaces and going, "So fucking cool!" She takes a necklace I was looking at off her neck, puts it on mine and goes "Oh, you can have it - I made it!" The girl gave me this: (which I apologize, the photo's a little blurry but it's a miniature totem-pole with turquoise accents), and it's beautiful. Just like all of her other stuff! Great taste in little trinkets, chains, jewels etc. Sherrie and I are working on getting some of her stuff shot so I can show all you other Shirksters what this very talented young lady has got to offer. Look out for it!
Last week the Tigers Inc. and myself went out for some food and drinks for the first time at this Little Korea gem Owl Of Minerva (700 Bloor St. W) and ended up having a completely affordable riot. Aside from the tasty food that's served all night, the beverages (especially HITE) were super cheap. Thus is why we all drank a shit ton of this stuff. A nice pale-ale that comes at $4 a pop. Drunkenness will ensue. I'll disregard telling you about the bottle of $15 Korean vodka we got as well. Talk amongst yourselves. 
MY (sortof) NEW LIVING ROOM (sortof)!
My lovely and awesome landlords surprised Jesse and I with this totally amazingly comfortable/sexy new backyard furniture last week, and they're just the best that they totally share it with us. Considering Jesse and I don't have a living room. Well sir, this is the next best thing and it's just lovely! Kicking my feet up, having friends over for late-night back yard hangs or just relaxing and reading a book... it's not good, it's great!


white wine
so it's been so unbelievably hot this summer in toronto that when it comes to choosing the perfect beverage, it's been a no-brainer to pick white wine. jesse and i are obsessed! i've always been a white drinker, especially when it's literally too unbearably sticky outside to drink a cold beer. so a lot of white wine, indeed! our favorite brand has easily got to be kim crawford (check out their site here).  we've also been splashing some soda and a touch of juice/fruit garment to it to make ourselves spritzers! thirst quenching and delicious! 
so we've been bowling again! jesse, my friends and i were bowling a lot last summer and haven't really picked it up too much since... but the other night you best be believin' we headed to the 70's night at the kipling and dundas bowlerama. any bowling alley that's open 24 hours is a gem! it's a simple, cheap and guaranteed fun night out and an excuse to get the hell out of the city for a night. i played pretty well, but jesse kicked all of our asses. NEXT TIME jesse, next time.
when my cat sits like a person
izzy's been doing this a lot lately, and it seems like my entire iPhone photo section is images of him sitting. it's like every time i see him doing it i'm just as excited as the first time. it's like he's in an invisible chair. and this photo takes the cake because his mouth happened to be open. where did i find this guy?
my gal pal lindsay
'twas this fair lady's birthday party last weekend, and we had ourselves a drunken good time in kensington market! we actually realized earlier this week that we had surpassed our two-year anniversary of working with each other, and lindsay had the kindest words to say about it (which you can read here), and my lord i just love the woman. here's us romantically sharing a cob of corn. can you see the love in our eyes?
disposable camera time!
this has been a much-mentioned topic of discussion here at shirk magazine, for i've always been obsessed with disposable cameras and usually get back onto my kick during the summer months. i love to carry them around in my purse for those ultra-special random moments you always get in the summer time; whether you randomly end up at a party one night, bump into a friend on the street, take it with you when you go about a summer adventure... the excitement you will feel as you impatiently wait at the Walmart photo centre for your prints to be ready can only be compared to christmas morning. try it out! get a photo album! let's start collecting and saving pictures again like our parents did; because one day all of our images are gonna disappear when facebook does, and trust me, facebook won't be around forever. but your photo albums will!
disposable: jesse and i getting coffees! 
disposable: my brother patrick being a retard in the pool!
disposable: my little Bernie!
vesta lunch

this little greasy-spoon, located at bathurst and dupont, is one of toronto's classic diners and jesse and i grabbed ourselves some all-day breakfast there for the first time after working a late shift last weekend. i'm sure the place is as scuzzy as they come, but you know you want a two egg-bacon-toast-hashbrown-coffee breakfast for $5.99 at 4am. perfect for late-night munchies!