3/2/11

why ben mulroney
is fucking it up for us.



by now i'm sure we're all sick and tired of the goddamn oscar chat. everyone saying they were the worst yet, blah blah blah. i watched half of it; and to tell you the truth, it was just as boring as every other oscar ceremony. nothing special in terms of "worstness", you know? poor anne hathaway and james franco; i mean, they weren't fantastic or anything but it was HOSTING. to be even asked to host at their young ages and cinematic newbie-ness is an incredible honor so i don't see what the big fucking deal is. i found the majority of the movies in the running this year were pretty fucking bland; yeah, i definitely didn't see all of them because they looked pretty fucking boring. i saw inception, which was pretty rad (aside from that juno bitch, why the hell was she cast in this movie?) and i was on a few occasions tempted to see black swan. that was about it. so how do they fill in the hours and hours of the televised ceremony? they show clips from past movies that are considered masterpieces. almost as if to say, "yeah this year sucked the big one. pretty hard. but hey, remember when movies were good?" can you believe that in 1939, the oscar for best picture had in it's category both the wizard of fucking oz AND gone with the wind? times have changed, my friends.

but i'm able to not give a flying fuck about all the oscar/hollywood bullshit, even though months before it i'm seeing it on tv every five seconds. but luckily, this year i had no cable tv/news paper and i'm not about to read perezhilton.com for my "latest oscar gossip!" but i must admit, i like watching the red carpet pre-show to check out what the ladies are wearing. so, jesse and i managed to steal a few cable channels, CTV and CBC; the worst canadian stations ever aside from that christian channel number 9 that sometimes shows full house. so because the oscars were on CTV this year, aren't we all so lucky that we get to watch as our wormy canadian representative BEN MULRONEY works his magic!

i don't give a fuck who ben's father is. why is this door knob representing canada on the oscar red carpet?
look at this fucking goon. look at this goon's fucking hair. what a joke. and canada's biggest entertainment station flies the bastard down to hollywood to blind celebrities with his shiny orange face and spew complete and utter ass-kissing bullshit to them, where i could think of enough people i know to count on my fingers who would do a better job than he ever could.

he's quite frankly, an embarrassment.

i didn't watch much of the red carpet; it was either that or kill myself, but i did catch up on some reading today on eyeweekly.com and this made me smile:

"Even though dungtard eTalk Ben Mulroney was a terrific embarrassment, and is going to make everyone in Hollywood change their minds about how much they love Canadians, he had the nerve to call the Oscars a "failure" while he was on CTV. Ha! Haaa!

awful yet completely hit the asshole on the rim. how did this tool get into ctv; i mean, i would love to hear that he played the "my daddy was the prime minister" card but like, isn't he in his early forties? does that still work? and that asian chick they have on e-talk; not the main one tanya kim (or whatever) but the other one they occasionally cut to for fashion "hit's & misses"... could you have more of an annoying twat-like voice? it's like a goddamn four year old girl telling you this rambling, never-ending, completely meaningless story who still hasn't learned how to control her vocal infliction by ending her sentences on a really annoying high-pitch tone... you know what i'm talking about, right?
there's no real hypothesis to this rambling article; i just think that for ctv, one of canada's most prominent stations on television, that we could do a fuck load better. canadian's already hate canadian content, but now you're just fucking embarrassing us to levels that are indescribable. nickel back, simple plan, rob ford, ben mulroney... how worse can it possibly get.



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