4/30/10

NEXT HAIR CUT

song of the day

OKAY. YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING INSANE I AM GOING OVER THIS.
i've been talking for years about how there's never been a good song, even just A SONG with my name in it. yeah yeah, i've got "it's brittney bitch" under my belt but com'on. UNTIL I FOUND THIS SONG.

i've known of the boo radleys but barely ever listened to their music (they had a flash in the pan of the 90's britpop scene and quickly disappeared). and then i found wake up boo, their biggest hit. boo has been my nickname since i was about 5 seconds old. so you have to understand how bloody excited i am that not only my nickname is in a song (aside from nelly and that other bitch's song) but it's actually good! and happy! like me! yaaaay!

wake up boo by the boo radleys



4/29/10

hey, um. lourdes? wanna be pals?
image from dlisted

JULIET REALLY COULD'A USED A GAY

hilarious and true; what would i do without my sassy gay boys? watch the others too; i died.
thanks andrea!




the time of the year that all of us canadians crave and look forward to most; the early taste of summer! in terms of winters, the last one wasn't as bad as most of us have seen. but for some reason, for me, it was one of the longest. now with blue skies, warm breezes and patios opening, the sexy tease of that slutty summer we all know and love has pulled out it's beautiful teet and we are ready to suck. oh, we're ready to suck. here are all of the things i look forward to this summer.

PATIO SEASON


it comes and goes like the Flash. but when it's here, i don't mind having to get drunk every day just to enjoy it. in my opinion, the best toronto patios are:

CADILLAC LOUNGE, 1296 QUEEN ST. WEST
tons of space, lots of sunshine, and always rockabilly/rock/country bands playing live right outside!

BISTRO 422, 422 COLLEGE ST.
cheap cheap cheap booze, dirty awesomeness and sassy old gay man waiters. genius.

SOUZ DAL, 636 COLLEGE ST.
quite, dimly lit, intimate and lovely. awesome drink specials, too.

RONNIE'S LOCAL, 69 NASSAU ST.
watch the local pedestrian traffic and drink some cheap beers on picnic tables? yes please.

SUTRA TIKI BAR, 612 COLLEGE ST.
sand on the ground, paper landers and drinks served in coconuts. aloha, bitch.

SQUIRLY'S, 807 QUEEN ST. WEST
huge, packed, loud and smokey. just the way i like it.

FROZEN TREATS
ooh, ice cream! popsicles! no longer do you fear the brain freeze, because you crave all of that delicious stickiness dripping down your chin and fingers. ew... anyways. i know that i'm heading to costco or some shit like that to get a life-size supply of freezies and popsicles, STAT.

SEXY SUMMER FASHIONS





how i long for shorts, flats, sunglasses and anything that is not made of wool. can't wait to pull out the pastels, silks, cottons and anything breathable. cheerful colours! less black! less DEPRESSED! more sex for the eyes!

CONCERTS





we all know, having been in a band, that it's hard to tour canada in the winter. mind you, most bands always make their way to toronto/vancouver/montreal just because that's the way it is, but you've gotta love summer concerts. there's something going on every week, all of the outdoor venues open up and the festivals begin! one of the best summer concerts i've ever been to was in 2004 at the curiosa festival with the cure, the rapture, interpol and mogwai. my bff paul hammerton and i brought a blanket about three joints. we were laying in the sun on the field of the molson amphitheater and the cure played as the sun set. it was absolutely magical. looking forward to making more of those delicious memories.

SHIT DISTURBING

summer is the time to get in the trouble with the police, have sex in parks, smoke weed by the lake and drive around aimlessly. blast your music from your backyard as loud as possible, hold out of control house parties, bbq for hours and hours and wander the streets completely waaaasted. this is the time for your inner devil to shine.

PICNICS



i love picnics. who doesn't fucking love picnics. invite your friends! bring food! bring booze! bring smokes! bring a frisbee! day picnics are perfect for solely enjoying the beautiful weather with your friends and doing shit all. night picnics are fantastic too; just bring some candles. it can be fun, or it can even be, ooh... romantic?

BIKE RIDES




can't hardly wait to get my bike all tuned up and then WATCH OUT WORLD, here comes brittney in her sears 1978 electric blue bike! boys and girls on bikes/who ride bikes are so cute, it's a great work out and it's personally so refreshing and a major stress killer. i want to ride my bicyyyyycle.


song of the day

here comes my girl by tom petty and the heartbreakers


4/27/10


i'm a sucker for you tube. i you tube something before i google. yeah. and boy, have i accumulated a serious collection of videos and i've chosen my TEN favorite you tube videos of all time. most of them are videos that fucking kill me. and there are tons more i know i'm forgetting, so i will have to update. as well, a lot of websites won't let me embed them on shirk... whatever. check these out for a guaranteed good laugh.

10. 100 GREATEST ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER QUOTES





9. WISE WORDS FROM THE SAAD





8. WHITNEY AND BOBBY





7. GEORGE WASHINGTON





6. WEIRD AL INTERVIEWS PAUL MCCARTNEY





5. CREED SHREDS





4. BEST OF G.I. JOE CARTOON PSA'S





3. WALKER TEXAS RANGER CLIP





2. DRAMATIC READING OF A BREAK-UP LETTER





1. MAX GOT A BATMAN COSTUME


"THIS IS ALABAMA. WE SPEAK ENGLISH."

my friend gene just posted this on his twitter.

Republican Tim James is running for governor of Alabama, and he hates foreign languages. In this ad, he sneeringly announces, "This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live here, learn it." What a jerk.
Tim's dad is former Alabama Gov. Fob James. Yes, Fob. They probably have no idea why that's funny, because people who hate foreign languages tend not to have friends with foreign accents, who come from a recently-immigrated families, or are not white.
from gawker.com

you know, i could get riled up about this. just like how i get mega pissed regarding animal, gay and human rights. but this guy makes me wanna play the fiddle and drink moonshine out of a jug. what a fucking goon.



4/25/10

song of the day

this song is for you. you know who you are.

i only have eyes for you by the flamingos


4/24/10



in celebration of my absolute favorite bloke robert smith, lead singer of the cure, and his belated turning 51 on wednesday shirk magazine has decided to share our top five favorite cure moments ever! happy birthday, bob. didn't think you'd make it this far. but surprisingly, you're still alive.



5. FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE
this song was undeniably the cure's biggest hit aside from love song, just like heaven... etc. and i've probably listened to this song every friday of my life since hearing it for the first time. it's a perfect song, and the video is absolutely adorable. this is when robert was in his over-sized t-shirt + big clunky sneakers phase; so cute!



4. THE LOVECATS
another adorable video and song brought to you by the cure; this was right after robert cut off his trademark hair explosion. but that red polkadot t-shirt and the kittens are just unbelievable. also, this song will forever reign in my top favorites of all time.




3. DISINTEGRATION
this is one of the most amazing albums i've heard, in terms of side a to side b; track to track it flows so perfectly and it's definitely the cure's definitive piece of their entire career. this baby has such phenomenal songs such as 
pictures of you, love song, lullaby, fascination street, disintegration, untitled... my god, and there is no filler. if youdon't own this album and you call yourself a music lover; get with the fucking pro. gram.


2. THE TRILOGY DVD
back in 2002, the cure did something so amazing and put it on dvd for the entire world to see. they played two shows in berlin where they performed their "trilogy" of albums, pornography, disintegration and bloodflowers in their entirety back to back. this was also just before synth player roger o'donnell left the band which equals "while they were still good". since then they've brought back an old guitar player who has a shaved head, tribal tattoos and wears red hooker heels on stage... i don't want to talk about it. but robert is the savior of this band; this man has an amazing voice and can pull it off perfectly even through an over 3 hour long show. if you're a cure fan, owning this dvd is a fucking must.

1. INBETWEEN DAYS
if you know me, hey! you'd know this is my favorite song of all time. has been, probably always will be. the video
is cute to boot as well. so there's that. ah, aren't the cure just so cute... whenever they don't make you want to killyourself? ahhh. :)

song of the day

once in a lifetime by the talking heads



4/23/10

SEXY SONGS SEXY TIMES


everyone has their preferences for songs they'd want playing during the hanky-panky-knockin'-boots-bringin'-er-on-home. here's a nice little mixture of everything for you; and no, you will not find any nine inch nails or marvin gaye... sorry. look at all the variety! i've given you TWO, TWO playlists; HOT/ROUGH and SOFT/SWEET. happy humping!


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones



Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones


FEATURED BOOK: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BAND


a few weeks ago my dear lady friend lindsay let me borrow this book titled "i don't care about your band" written by american comedy writer julie klausner. she told me it's a staple book for any young lady who's dated musicians or who has shitty boy stories in general. what girl hasn't, really. but in this special case, after finishing the final page of the book i realized that if i were to write a book that it probably page-for-page would've been this one. i could've cashed in on the big bucks!

klausner has an outrageous sense of humor; growing up in a jewish new york city community she tells all about her relationships with her sexuality, douche bags, musicians and ugly dudes with a dry wit about her that had me literally laughing out loud while reading. she admits to being the classic case of the girl growing up just desperate to have a boyfriend or anyone like her at all; that sort of psyche can land a girl in some pretty interesting situations. for example,


"Met all grades of awful men getting picked up in bars I got into with a fake Georgia driver's license. Under the guise of hailing from Savannah, I got to meet winners like Reginald Blankenship, a carrot–topped lanky Kentuckian who met me at Max Fish two hours before requesting oral sex with a mint flavored condom, which is sort of like ordering a cheeseburger and drinking it through a straw. Reginald taught me two things: that I can't be intimate with a man with the same skin and hair coloring as me, because the minute a redheaded man lowers his drawers, I feel like I'm looking at myself with male genitalia; and also, that when you try to suck a guy off with a mint balloon on his penis, he will ask you to stop, and then he will tell you that he wants to take a bath."


but through it all, she learns more and more about herself and men after every fart-bomb of a relationship she gets herself into and out of. and that's really the point of the book i find; you're reading stories and although some are hilariously sad and embarrassing, it continues like a timeline and with every passing story you sense klausner learning from her mistakes and respecting herself a little more. throw in a couple of dick jokes, and bam; it's really a perfect book. quick, to the point and ridiculously smart. in no way does she preach or wag fingers; she's saying fuck, everyone makes mistakes and a lot of them are fucking hilarious. have fun, don't try so hard and learn from your mistakes... other wise, who cares. and that's the kind of book i want to read. fuck men are from mars bullshit, i strongly suggest you pick this up instead.

4/20/10

for someone who's had straight cut bangs the majority of her life, when my friend cosette posted this on her facebook i just had to steal it. thanks cosettte!

TOP FIVE

after watching one of my favorite movies of all time, high fidelity, starring john cusack in the role of rob gordon (the perfect mold of the man of my dreams), the whole "top 5 list" thing inspired me. i usually make top 10's. why was i being so silly; rob had it right all along! keep it short and to the point. here are rob gordon's top 5 most memorable top 5 list topics from high fidelity; a few with my own spin.

Top 5 Songs To Play On A Monday Morning
considering i haven't been up before 9 on a monday morning since college, i'm going to have to think of songs that i would listen to when i get up that early on a monday morning. just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

And Your Bird Can Sing - The Beatles
Walking - The Dodos
My Wandering Days Are Over - Belle & Sebastian
New Slang - The Shins
Goods - Mates Of State




Top 5 Most Memorable Break-Ups
in the film, this whole part was totally endearing. for me? would be creepy. but i've got some good ones. if you ever want to hear them, buy me a drink and we'll see.




Top 5 Track One, Side One's


the knife's "heartbeats" off of deep cuts
the beatles "help!" off of help!
the rolling stones's "sympathy for the devil" off of beggars banquet
new order's "age of consent" off of power, corruption and lies
depeche mode's "never let me down again" off of music for the masses




Top 5 Things Rob Misses About Laura aka Brittney Misses About Monogamy
i don't really miss anyone. but i can let you know what i miss about being in a monogamous relationship, even though the majority of it all sucks.


Staying in on a Saturday night cuddled under a blanket with a movie and NOT feeling like a dork
Butterflies (while they last)
Someone to come home to and talk to once you get home besides your cat
The whole hanky panky on the regular is a plus
Inside jokes, favorite spots and the sharing of almost everything




Top 5 Songs About Death: A Laura's Dad Tribute List
rob's girlfriend laura's dad passes away towards the end of the film. here's my list.


Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
Funeral Party - The Cure
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
1963 - New Order



4/18/10

whatever. i totally dig kelly o's shoes, dress and purple-esque hair and her totally adorable fiance at cochella yesterday. girl looks good.

4/17/10

so, as of today i have decided that i'm finally going to get my ass off my damn seat and record the album i've been wanting to record since my old band modele broke up. oh, by the way, if you're so inclined my old singer and i have decided to release our last album (self-titled from 2008) online for free! so if you want it, get it while it's up by clicking here. meanwhile, i'll keep you posted on the status of my yet-to-be-titled ep. yay! as a matter of fact, after deciding that today and after reading my now magazine horoscope, a light went off. a little too perfect?

Taurus Apr 20 | May 20 Taurus genius Irving Berlin (1888-1989) has been called the greatest songwriter who ever lived. Among his 1,500 compositions were iconic tunes like God Bless America and White Christmas, as well as scores for 18 Hollywood movies and 19 Broadway shows. And yet he never learned to read or write music. Was he embarrassed about his handicap? Not at all. He even bragged about it. He felt that having such a minimal grasp of the conventions of songwriting was an advantage, giving him the freedom to be extraordinarily original. Is there any way in which you’re like Irving Berlin, Taurus? Do you have a seeming limitation that is actually an aid to your creativity and uniqueness? Celebrate it this week.

scary.

so aside from staying in tonight due to lack of funds (storyofmylife), and being hungover from one of the drunkest nights of my life ( THE SHIRK MAGAZINE PARTY WAS INSANE! if you missed it, you missed out bad) i recorded a few demos and put together this little gem of a ditty. i think i'm suffering some mad cabin fever.


4/16/10

my talented friend ahmed h doodled up this little number for me and i absolutely love it. thanks ahmed!

4/15/10

THE BLUES... I MEAN, HANSON BROTHERS?

1) yes, this is a hanson music video.
2) the song is... questionable. though there is cow-bell.
3) the blues brothers happens to be one of my favorite films, so i know that they managed to get this scene down almost to a t scene for scene. so there is respect there.
4) shrug.



Thinking 'Bout Somethin'

HANSON | MySpace Music Videos

song of the day

you really got a hold on me by smokey robinson and the miracles

4/14/10

SHIRK MAG PARTY

tomorrow night. tattoo rock parlor. shirk magazine is celebrating for the fuck of it with her friends the in crowd djs and pink mafia as we shimmy shimmy shake to 60's pop, soul, motown and more. drinks are cheap and the people are pretty.

4/13/10

song of the day

i wish i could live inside of this video.
fascination by alphabeat




source: www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/hipster-kitten

4/12/10

FEATURED EVENT: LINCOLN & THE MARSHIN ACADEMY


on saturday, toronto band lincoln & the marshin academy filmed the ultra-awesome video for their new single "go" and i was pleased to be one of the extras! a 1960's warhol-esque dance party; yes please. once the video is out and about, aside from seeing it on canadian music stations, you can see it here on shirk! it's going to be amaaaazing. all photos (except the top) by brittney townson.




FEATURED INTERVIEW: BABY GIRAFFE



so no, i didn't actually have a skype date with an actual baby giraffe (although that would be pretty awesome; the conversation would suck) but i did have a skype date/interview/shooting-of-the-shit with toronto's michael newton; the man behind the band baby giraffe. i've known michael for years, but over the last few he's been creating some amazing music mostly on his own with a little help from a few friends here and there. it's an incredible blend of shoegaze, electronic and rock'n'roll and for something to sound so fresh, it has a familiarity comparable to a warm hug. it's pretty with torn edges. we skyped as i grilled him with a few questions i've been meaning to ask about baby g.



shirk magazine:

Where and when, if you can remember, were you when you came up with the name BABY GIRAFFE?

michael:

The name comes from an ex-roommate. or it may have been an ex-roommate's friend. I was nosying around and they were playing the game of, "if you were an animal, what would you be". And someone said I would be a "baby giraffe" It's kinda embarassing. I should be a bear.

shirk magazine:                                                                                                                                                                                            

When did you record the first track under Baby Giraffe, and what song was it?

michael:

I had recorded a full album in 2004 that later adopted the name Baby Giraffe, but the name Baby Giraffe came stamped on a song I recorded called The Trust Of Spring. Specifically because it was unlike what I was writing in the band I was in at the time. 

shirk magazine:

Was there an album, or anything that you said "I want Baby Giraffe to sound like this"?

michael:
Not really. Um, there had always been music I had written with obvious influences.

shirk magazine:

What were you listening to while writing the songs, then?

michael:

Amongst music I listened to as a teenager, I always enjoyed an album by the Appleseed Cast called Mare Vitalis. I bought it over a weekend in Barrie and to this day, unfortunately, it still reminds me of Barrie. I always go back to that album as far as structure goes. It's kind of a shoegazing type of band for my generation, similar to what My Bloody Valentine and Spacemen 3 were doing  when I was still wearing track pants and matching sweaters, but more to the like of bands like Mogwai and Godspeed You Black Emperor.

michael:

The sort of music that doesent need a a full on "here I am, im the lead singer of a band" structure. It's all very pretty.

shirk magazine:                                                                                                                                                                                              
Do you remember the first album you ever bought/heard?

michael:

The first album i bought with my own money was the Ghostbusters soundtrack. The first cd I ever bought was C+C Music Factory's Gonna make You Sweat.

shirk magazine:

Did it make you sweat?

michael:
Ha, I sweat regardless of musical genre. The first album I CARED about was the Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and the first album I bought I still listen to was The Smiths - The Smiths. 

shirk magazine:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
Which leads into my next question; you're a huge Morrisey/Smiths fan. What about their music inspires you, or what do you take from them and incorperate into Baby Giraffe?

michael:
Not only because Morrissey is more than a frontman, he is a character, almost fantasy like, to the point where you can't imagine someone like that actually exists... but you can. Because you feel so connected, the music is very important. Johnny Marr, who is the greatest guitarist of all time, and Boz Boorer (and Alain Whyte) are all very important to the music. Listening to Morrissey acapella would be great, but when you incorperate the contrasting music behind it, it all seems to make sense even if for a minute.

shirk magazine:
Who have you collaborated with on this project so far?

michael:
In total, over the couple years, only two people. My good friend Eli, who ran off to Austrailia because he is loved too much in this country, and my pal Mike who is sleeping one floor below me. Both are collaborative out of a matter of convience, but also choice. They both have things to offer I cannot. And I love them for that.

michael:
Everyone else can eat dirt.

shirk magazine:
"Cept me.

michael:
Who?

shirk magazine:
What do you have to offer in terms of material that a fan can get their hands on? I know that this is an ongoing project for you and that you're continuously releasing B.G. goodies.

michael:
Well I've got a few things...in 2004 I did "Baby Giraffe Is A Lot More Important Than Jesus Christ and the Church of Latter Day Saints". I gave that way to friends. It wasnt great. Mostly instrumental. Then I did a self-titled, which I made 90 of and gave them all away. Next came an ep called "Coma Toes". I did two of those; a lot of the tracks were mostly instrumental. I followed with "Alcohol Drugs and Things Not Meant To Be Loved" where there are three versions and nobody owns a full copy. But I do want to do a proper release, to the masses (insted of just giving it away on the internet, which is also cool).

shirk magazine:
Give me three words that describe Baby Giraffe.

michael:
"Oh that guy".

shirk magazine:  
What are pros and cons to being an independant musician in Toronto?

michael:
Pros- no one to answer to. No rehearsal factory fees. I do it in my room (all good things I do by myself in my room). Cons- I cant afford to put out a release by myself (I cant split it five ways in a five way band, because im a one man band, man.)

shirk magazine:
Where do you see yourself, not even nessissarily with Baby Giraffe, in 5 years?

michael:
Baby Giraffe will be wherever I will be, because, it's really only me. I might pick a different moniker, whatever is trendy. "Easy Girls"? And I have no idea where I will be, if anywhere. But where I'd like to be is comfortable, with a Rickenbacker guitar, and a computer worthy of recording at least 16 tracks. 

shirk magazine: 
Michael Newton is Baby Giraffe, Baby Giraffe is Michael Newton.

michael: 
Baby Giraffe and Michael Newton are the same guy, but I can never figure out which one I want to tuck in at night.

shirk magazine:
Last question, Netwon. Why do you want people to listen to Baby Giraffe?

michael:
I don't mind if people don't. I don't expect alot of people to enjoy it. But nothing, personally, excites me more than finding a new artist that has a back catalogue unnoticed. My back catalogue reflects the past six years of life. And if you know me, you will understand that.

shirk magazine:  
Totally. Well it's moving, innovative, emotional music and it should be heard.

michael:
Baby Giraffe is discoverable music whereas there are specific emotions I was encountering that come across in the music. If you want music to get up and dance to, turn on your radio. If you want to explore and find something that's been under your nose; especially if that nose had been previously occupied by a crisp blue five dollar bill, this will be adaquete.

shirk magazine:   
Nicely put. I think that about wraps this shit up. Thank's Michael!

michael:
I think I spelled adaquete wrong. Editor?









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