a few weeks ago my dear lady friend lindsay let me borrow this book titled "i don't care about your band" written by american comedy writer julie klausner. she told me it's a staple book for any young lady who's dated musicians or who has shitty boy stories in general. what girl hasn't, really. but in this special case, after finishing the final page of the book i realized that if i were to write a book that it probably page-for-page would've been this one. i could've cashed in on the big bucks!

klausner has an outrageous sense of humor; growing up in a jewish new york city community she tells all about her relationships with her sexuality, douche bags, musicians and ugly dudes with a dry wit about her that had me literally laughing out loud while reading. she admits to being the classic case of the girl growing up just desperate to have a boyfriend or anyone like her at all; that sort of psyche can land a girl in some pretty interesting situations. for example,

"Met all grades of awful men getting picked up in bars I got into with a fake Georgia driver's license. Under the guise of hailing from Savannah, I got to meet winners like Reginald Blankenship, a carrot–topped lanky Kentuckian who met me at Max Fish two hours before requesting oral sex with a mint flavored condom, which is sort of like ordering a cheeseburger and drinking it through a straw. Reginald taught me two things: that I can't be intimate with a man with the same skin and hair coloring as me, because the minute a redheaded man lowers his drawers, I feel like I'm looking at myself with male genitalia; and also, that when you try to suck a guy off with a mint balloon on his penis, he will ask you to stop, and then he will tell you that he wants to take a bath."

but through it all, she learns more and more about herself and men after every fart-bomb of a relationship she gets herself into and out of. and that's really the point of the book i find; you're reading stories and although some are hilariously sad and embarrassing, it continues like a timeline and with every passing story you sense klausner learning from her mistakes and respecting herself a little more. throw in a couple of dick jokes, and bam; it's really a perfect book. quick, to the point and ridiculously smart. in no way does she preach or wag fingers; she's saying fuck, everyone makes mistakes and a lot of them are fucking hilarious. have fun, don't try so hard and learn from your mistakes... other wise, who cares. and that's the kind of book i want to read. fuck men are from mars bullshit, i strongly suggest you pick this up instead.