
jokingly, i made my facebook status "hot dudes aren't straight" both as a joke and... okay, with a little hint of truth. it grew into a debate as my guy friends protested. the conversation changed as someone added "or sane" to the end of my status statement. as my fellow facebooker's added their two cents to it, my friend lana made a good point that i agree with:
"It's like the formula when you're creating something for someone: they can pick two of three choices -- good, cheap, fast. Same goes for men, only it's hot, straight, sane.
If they're straight and hot, they're crazy
If they're straight and sane, they're rarely hot,
and if they're hot and sane? Gay as a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide."
so then i thought, ain't it the truth. you've gotta pick one;
HOT OR SANE. another friend made another good point; it really depends on your personal definition of both. so here i am, right now, about to give you the pros and cons to dating a hot or a sane man, and why it seems virtuously impossible to find a man who's both.

clearly the definition of "hot" starts with physical beauty. i like a good looking man. but i'm not into your typical movie star looks; no no. i like strange features on boys, without crossing the lines of extra toes, unibrows and missing teeth. nerdy haircuts, boney legs and freckles are nice. all i'm saying is, you don't have to be drop dead gorgeous (in the terms of how society defines it), just give me a sweet and sincere smile, a nice hair cut and the ability to maintain cleanliness and i'm happy. i also define "hot" with the things that come along with the physical attractiveness; what he does for a living, his hobbies, interests etc. more often than not, if you find a guy with something in common with you, you can completely forget about what he even looks like, am i correct? it no longer matters. the connection... dare i say, bond, is what's important. but let's not remember a lot of women are just as interested as men are in having a good piece of arm candy; a hot boyfriend that you want to stare at, kiss and love long times. a lot of people allow themselves to look past the bad parts of a relationship based on how hot their other is, and how good the sex is. we are all guilty of this. then comes smarts and sense of humor. these things are a must. most hot guys either have these things, or are really good at pretending that they do. then there's the confidence! and that, my friend, is the big killer. nothing is sexier than a confident man. sometimes even cockiness can be hot, to a degree. i think hot guys are a lot smarter than we take them for; most of them are completely aware that they're good looking and thus can pretty much get away with anything. so that leads to:
CON assholes. most of the hot boys are assholes. i would know, because i've dated all of them in existence, and they were the worst of the bunch. a lot of them are used to getting what they want, getting the attention they want, and they crave it. they will do anything for that constant stroke of ego, and this is why hot boys fuck around. sometimes it feels good to feel like you scored a guy who probably wouldn't have any problems getting any other girl, but once you're with them... it's hard to trust them. strangely, even though we want to think otherwise, hot guys have insane insecurity problems. thus the need for attention. going to a lot of parties, posing in a lot of photos, hanging around a lot of girls. this is what they love, crave, and need. just your typical spoiled brat syndrome turned into an adult issue.
so then we turn to the sane man. but is it really any better?
my definition of "sane" isn't just about having a normal chemical balance in the brain, it goes way deeper than that. to be a sane guy is to be normal. a guy without insane ego issues, anger management or dick-head tendencies. the worst case scenario is the "man-baby"; the guy in his late 20's who still acts as if he's 14. he completely lacks communication skills, runs and hides from having to deal with mature issues and refuses to tell the truth; in most cases this is the "hot" man. the normal, sane man has to be unafraid. kind. thankful. respectable. all of these things are lessons we learn throughout our life that we either put into use, or don't. i've learned, from being raised by a loving family and having wonderful friends, that it really pays off in others lives and your own to treat everyone the way you would want to be treated. this is a key thing to remember. treating a woman with respect isn't just a major turn on for us chicks, but it's a given; every man should learn to put this into practice if they aren't already. to be sane is to, and i repeat, love, respect, cherish, understand, thank people who love, respect, cherish, understand and thank you. men, or should i say "boys", tend to learn this lesson late. but a lot of good dudes just understand this. lets face it ladies; most of the sane, normal guys are men we have as friends. they treat us well, are super awesome gentleman to us and everyone else, and are always there when we need someone to talk to, goof off with or have a few beers with. most of all,
we trust them. thus:
CON these trust worthy guys tend to get walked all over on by women. it makes me sad, because i'm pretty sure i'm guilty of that. all women are! women go through phases too; they want the bad-ass, or the guy who makes them work for something and gives them a challenge. sadly, for that, i am maaajorly guilty. remember the whole confidence thing? a lot of nice guys don't have it, or have trouble with it. can they step up to the plate? get what they want? we want a guy that will argue back, but to a degree... and sometimes that fine line is what matters most. but a lot of nice guys don't even want to try pushing that line! well, what is it then? it's the allure, the sexiness that a lot of good guys don't have. every woman wants a hint of cockiness, a hurdle to get over, or a challenge. sometimes when a man doesn't call, sure it drives us nuts, but it's sort of thrilling. we don't want it to be too easy. sometimes they look like super nerds, too. let's remember that.
so, in conclusion? i thought men were difficult to understand. women really are hard to get; I'M FUCKING HARD TO GET AND I'M ME.
we want a man who we can trust, but we want something to fight for.
we want a man who treats us well, but isn't afraid to tell us when we're being stupid.
we want a man who's cute as a button, but for some reason doesn't know it.
why are we so fucking difficult?clearly, you can think what you want, but these are my incoherent ramblings. after piecing together experiences from my past and present, are the only ways to classify men into two simple groups. i'm not saying all hot boys are assholes, and i'm not saying all nice guys are pussies. but how come that's what it's been for me my whole life? all i can say is if there's such thing as an in-between group... prove me wrong.