3/31/09

quotes i heard at work today:


"My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches. I turn the lights on and the koalas scatter. I'm like, come back! I want to hold one of you, and feed you a leaf!"

"When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box, they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers man, that's why I bought it, 'cause I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates! You've got no faith in the product itself. "

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I said "No.... but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah".

3/28/09

HOOKED AT AGE 12

okay, i have a bone to pick.

is it just me, or do women look fucking light years older than their actual age lately? i'm turning 23 in just a month, and i'm looking at today's hottest female celeb's who are younger or only a few years older than me, and i feel like i look like a fucking prepubescent awkward teen next to them. it's clearly obvious that each of them have their own team of stylists, make-up/hair people and tons of cash for new threads, but... seriously. everyone at work just learned i was turning 23 and was in shock in awe wondering how the hell i even got into a bar. do i look 17? is that a good thing? what am i doing wrong?

i still get carded for rated r movies for fucks sakes.

and let's also bring into play that half of these women have been to rehab, are in rehab, or are just in the midst of snorting an 8-ball all to themselves riiiight.... now. they've been in films, toured the world, magazine covers and can get into pretty much any party in any city that they want.

and i was just looking up where to buy cat clocks. you know, cat clocks?

you know what. 

forget about the whole complaining thing. i'm very lucky i've got the looks i've got! my grandmother, mother and myself have all and will age gracefully. meanwhile, all of these bitches will look like old leather bags in their early 30's, i guarantee you all. lindsay's already starting to look pretty rough.
lindsay lohan, 22
lady gaga, 23
katy perry, 24
peaches geldoph, 20

3/26/09

featured shop


i'm sure i've mentioned carte blanche on this blog more than a billion times, but they deserve their own post.

next time you're on queen west (toronto), stop by number 758. just look for an amazing display window with blaring neon light and a mannequin wearing pink cobra, carte blanche's owner tania's very own label. she's had some amazing press lately because of her amazing designs which such people as Dragonette, Fritz Helder and the Phantoms, and myself, are sporting.

have you been looking for a rare european/american label that's not available anywhere else in cananda? it's most likely found a la carte:

Pink Cobra (Toronto)
Cheap Monday (Sweden)
April 77 (Paris)
C-Neeon (Berlin)
Jeremy Scott (Beverly Hills)
JG4B (London)
Lungta De Fancy (London)
Velour (Sweden)
Fifth Avenue Shoe Repair (Sweden)
Passarella Death Squad (London)
Gram (Sweden)

not only are the clothes amazing, not only is the store amazing, but the owners tania and dan (also their tres friendly manager esther) are amazing as well.

visit http://www.shopcarteblanche.ca to see all of the amazing clothes, jewelry and other gear that's available... you can even shop online!

3/25/09

SUCKAGE



hello my little shirksters.

i have disappeared, lost in the world of retail. i managed to pull myself out of it this evening, and i have returned to the real world. i am celebrating with a can of coke.

major lack of updates, but if there's one thing that HAS been updated, it's been my 2009 summer wardrobe!
so many goodies that i can't wait to crank out once it gets warmer in this god for saken deep freezer of a country.

again, due to the suckage of myself into the world of american apparel, i have been wearing a lot of it lately. i have decided that this summer, when ever i'm not wearing black, i'm going to wear pink tones and other pastels and neutrals. i want to get in touch with my feminine side, just like a certain LJF


i feel so bloody useless lately, i can't wait to hop on a bike, walk walk walk to my hearts content and wear sunglasses without feeling like i'm over doing it.

3/19/09

COOL FAIL

fail-owned-cool-tattoo-fail
more fail, owned and pwned pics and videos

i took this photo outside of a bar a few years ago, and this guy was super proud to have me take a shot of this.

i sent it to fail blog, and it's already got 300 votes! haha.

3/17/09

JAMES FRANCO... HOT?



why have i never noticed you before, james franco?
there is a tingling in my hoo hah when i look at you now. why now?

okay, well... your nose looks kind of weird in this particular photograph, but as i stand right now, i would NOT need a few beers to do you.

3/16/09

TWIGGULICIOUS

to any girl who wants to rock twiggy's make up, here is a picture perfect youtube tutorial!

TWIGGY

if there was one person in the entire world's look i could steal, even for just one day...

















3/15/09

COOL FOOD



a quiet sunday afternoon, the sun it out, it's nice and warm, and i'm laughing at funny snl skits.
watch this, you won't regret it.

3/11/09

C is for COO COO

From Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's runway show in Paris last night.





3/8/09

DAVE GAHAN

the hottest man in the world; dave gahan.
not only is this man one of the best lead singers in the history of music, but he's disgustingly attractive and has an amazing flare for fashion.
the things i would do to cup this man's bum...










so, last night was the first time that i went to a CLUB club in a very long time (for a birthday party, not by choice of course)... the club itself, let's not talk about. typical geno/yuppie/prostitute melting pot that took way too fucking long to get into and took way too much money out of my pocket. but, i looked fantastic.
really wish i had a better camera so i could show head-to-toe, but i was wearing a high waist black cotton/spandex skirt, black tights and these amazing black lace-up pumps, patten leather, from h&m. my feet still hurt.


3/5/09

never you mind

my personal shopping list.

- value village; denim shirt; turn into vest
- black flats; preferably from u.o.?
- drop-crotch pants; seen at h&m/zara
- spring jacket; tan coloured trench

(that's the way we spell) s u c c e s s




huzzah!
i've finally got my camera. which means, the very first SHIRK MAGAZINE exclusive interview is on it's way!





until then, i want fucking sushi.

3/3/09

WANTS vs NEEDS



things have been slow here on on the SHIRK front; still trying to track down a good video camera to get my interviews going.
and i have been really slow with my frivilous spending on clothing lately, as well. which i guess you could say is a good thing with this whole RECESSION and everything.
i got my t4 in the mail today, and let's just say it's sad.
SO sad, that i returned a skirt i bought last week from h&m today for drinking cash. haha.


and here i am, cashless, creating a crazy personal list of needs which has become this outfit.
god, i want this outfit so bad it hurts.

give me everything
give me everything - by british on Polyvore.com
© SHIRK MAGAZINE 2013. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.